For last few days I have just sort of felt like something isn’t balanced in my life…there is something missing. I am happily married and fall in love with my husband every day over and over again…but still I am left wanting…is it the lack of job in my life? or friends? or dare I say it baby?…I know that I feel like there is no direction…for the first time in 23 years of my life I just don’t feel like I have a goal…I am not trying to finish a school year or learn a piece of music or write a paper…I just feel like I am floating with nothing really to hold on too…I find little grips here and there but nothing really worth holding on to…I am questioning every move I have made or will make…I have great degrees but no real idea what the fridge I wish to do with them…I know that research or something like that would fit me…I don’t want to be a cop (nor did I really gear my CJ degree to be one)…I don’t want to be a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist…so why the hell do I have these degrees? I mean they interest me and I always thought I would probably end up majoring in something like that…but I just don’t know what to do with them…I feel like I wasted four years when I could have been doing anything else.
I know what would really interest me is to be able to do freelance research on various topics…I love diving through the internet and the stacks to find information to support my idea…not sure how that can translate into something that would actually make me money….I don’t know…I don’t know at all.
God must have some plan for me but could he cue me in sometime in the near future….I pray every night and whenever I have a quiet moment to myself…
Please, any sign?