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Good morning Vietnam,

Errr, wrong thing. Not even sure where that came from really, probably just wanted to add a little spice to a Sunday morning.

Well, Schubes and I have finally re-entered the world of the internet. A few things on that, boo on their data caps and boo on even though At&t is still one of the cheaper options out there it is a touch costly. When will cities, states etc get on the ball and paint the town. I know it would be costly but it would help open up so many doors for a lot of people and in the long wrong maybe even help save a few bucks in the long run.

Now that I have internet I can no longer use it as an excuse not to look for a job at a more steady pace. I am just sick of wading through the never-ending tidal waves of “We are sorry but we are looking at candidates which more closely match our current needs”. That weekly FUCK YOU is not really a good confidence booster. I can’t get hired as a secretary and even in retail because I decided to focus on my college degree because I stupidly thought and believed that a college degree opens doors and takes you places…eh, tell that to me and my recently graduated friends who spend most of our days pounding the pavement, browsing job listings online and thusly ending up more than likely taking the exact job we would have been doing if college was not in our path…we aren’t even really looking for that dream job…we are just looking for a way to pay bills and able to have a little fun…if we can hit on our dream job, the better but we don’t kid ourselves. I started searching for things that were on the very outside of edge of my dream career path, nice entry level positions that will hopefully some day open the doors to a more fulfilling path…but those I am not experienced enough, didn’t chose the exact right wording  on my resume or didn’t stand on my head, bang a gong three times and painted my toenails blood red whilst applying.

Yes,I am pretty fed up with the whole search…even when I apply for retail jobs..you know the ones that hire kids fresh out of high school…even those say I don’t fit their qualifications they are looking for…eh, alrighty…whatever.  I know I didn’t cut it out at Target. I actually really enjoyed working there…I loved the scavenger hunt aspect of keeping the shelves stocked…however, my social anxiety disorder didn’t much enjoy the whole cashiering thing…I could direct people to items while on the floor, that just seemed more natural but the second I stood behind the cash register I felt like I was in a police integration room. My temp would rise, my heart rate shot through the roof and quickly the panic would build. I went home every night that even after spending only 5 minutes behind the register and cry myself to sleep. I quickly felt myself falling into a depression that I haven’t seen the likes off since high school and that was a scary and very rough time in my life. I just didn’t want to go back there.

I would definitely consider cashiering again but in a more relaxed environment, something a little less corporate, more along the lines of a mom and pop store.

I really am getting disillusioned with the whole process. I no longer feel like I could do anything really at all, the world is to my oyster. The only bright spot in my dark, dank tunnel is the prospect of one day starting my own business…being my own boss, with my own hours…letting the creative moon take me where it does. When people ask about what I would sell I could list items for days or talk about things I would explore like there is tomorrow. When people ask what I want to do with my Criminal Justice and Psychology degrees all I can do is make hmm, hem and haw noises until the cows come home. Good question? There is so much I can and want to do with those two degrees that it changes daily…a lot of the items I really don’t have the proper opportunities to pursue here any way.

A big problem with wanted to create my own career path, my own business is money. You need to pay money, to make money. I don’t have any money, and can’t make any money because no one will hire me because I don’t have any skills/experience…but I can’t get experience because no one will hire me.

People tell me I should check out a headhunting agency but even then I am hearing a lot that people are even striking out from going through them. I don’t know…I just dread filling out applications and all the stupid little questions they ask…who cares? I never feel like those little questionnaires really discover and showcase ME….

Well, now that I have quickly brought down the mood and made myself depressed after rambling on for almost 900 words…which no one will probably read anyway. Let us focus on some more uplifting topics.

Uplifting topic #1: Pottermore
No, I am not in yet, still waiting “patiently” for my welcome email…on Sept 11th, I will have been waiting for a month…I don’t wait well at all.  I hope I didn’t screw up my chances of really getting in early because I signed in the other day. I couldn’t remember if we chose our own passwords or if they would send one out with your Welcome email (would make sense to me) but alas we chose ours and I got signed in and then I read something on the insider blog about how they suggest you not sign in prior to receiving your email. That to me equals you are generally up a creek if you attempted. Who knows….I so want in, I literally check my email every half hour or so to see if that lovely email has come in. Of course, hopefully the site won’t really put a good dent in our data usage because Netflix is already a grand suck of our “supply”….it really won’t be grand having to keep track of what we use, especially because we stream a lot on Netflix.

Uplifting Topic #2: Pinterest
Oh gosh, how I am ever addicted to pinterest? Seriously, that site rocks like no other site can. Problem sometime in the next week or so I will be setting up a pinterest challenge for myself..taking some of things I have pinned and actually do them. I will also begin one of those 30 day photography challenges I have been talking about doing for like 3 months now…JOY!

I will also need to post the pictures of the Hubs finished Royals room, it looks fantastic. I really have enjoyed all the detail/mural painting I am doing on it…and looking forward to the few other murals I have planned to go up over the next few months or so. Oh how I feel so much better when I go to sleep covered in paint, glue and all things craft supplies.

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